“How’s yer Father’s Day” is a nice play on words this Father’s Day eve, and a nice gift idea as well. From Brand Republic

LONDON – Ann Summers is running a risqué Father’s Day promotion directed at mothers who buy their partner a present on behalf of their children.

Called “How’s yer Father’s Day“, the activity is based on the assumption that many mothers buy socks and jumpers on behalf of their young children.

According to its own research, the retailer claims 99% of fathers would rather have sex than a traditional Father’s Day present.

Products such as massage oil will be ticketed with the line ‘Sex not socks.’ The window display will also be used to highlight the promotion.

The retailer is aiming to persuade women to buy something sexy for themselves rather than “boring underwear” for their husband.

All well and good to be a dad in London. Here in the States, the state of Pandora’s boxers is a bit too literal. Via NBC

Ladies, if you are looking for bargains, you might be looking in the wrong department.

“I can go to the men’s side and actually see better sales on their walls than when I go to the women’s side,” one woman said.

“I wear men’s underwear. Well, they come three in a pack. You can’t find that in women’s underwear,” said another woman.

Hey Victoria! Throw us guys a bone here and start selling friggin’ three-packs will ya? Or there will be far fewer fathers next year.

Have a good one.

In a bid to up the appeal of their menu, McDonalds U.K. is now offering the Quorn Premiere, a fermented fungus fillet. From the Telegraph:

Quorn was born out of nutritionists’ fears in the early 1960s that rapid population growth might result in global protein shortages. As a result, scientists began looking for plant-based protein foods and, in 1967, the discovery of a fungus in a North Yorkshire soil sample provided the unlikely solution.

The pharmaceutical arm of ICI, now Astrazeneca, and food producer RHM jointly started experiments on this “mycoprotein”.

By 1985, it was approved by the authorities for food use and the next year was launched under the name Quorn.

Low in fat and carbohydrate and high in protein and fibre, it is now grown in 155,000 litre fermenters and used as a “meat alternative” in sausages, burgers, mince. McDonald’s has even launched a Quorn Premiere – a Quorn fillet in a bun.

The obvious movie promotional tie-in here would be with the re-release of Soylent Green, a film born out of the same protein shortage fears.

Can the “Carl’s Junior Quorn Star” be far behind? Can’t wait for the commercial.

When companies get a product name just right, when they pick the absolute best name possible, it’s like poultry in motion. From the New Hampshire Business Review:

Like many visionaries, John Packard, founder and president of Portsmouth-based Pure Barnyard, was looking for a better way to do something — in this case, fertilize his lawn without worrying about his grandchildren playing on the grass and chemical run off into the ocean near his home.

He was visiting the Holland office of his other business, Gemini Valve, when his epiphany came in the form of a chicken. Much of Holland is below sea level, so runoff of manure is a severe issue there. According to Packard, the Dutch had developed a process of eliminating most groundwater contamination by refining chicken manure.

“I went to the processing facility that had eggs coming out one end and packaged fertilizer out the other,” quipped Packard.

In 1998, he formed Pure Barnyard and began importing the product from Holland, calling it “Cockadoodle Doo.” He began selling in select stores around Boston “just to see if there was a market. There was indeed a market.”…

…Two years ago, Pure Barnyard developed a relationship with Perdue Farms Inc., which has one billion chickens at its facility in Maryland — the highest concentration of chickens in the world, said Packard. “Each chicken produces about 70 pounds of raw waste a year. Times one billion — that’s a lot of manure,” he said.

Which makes it perfectly at home on this blog. Maryland does indeed have the biggest concentration of chickens in the world, but just barely. Last year’s competition for the title was fierce, and they eeked out a squeaker. This year’s contest is a barn burner that’s only half over. “Old Number Two“, Maryland’s pluckiest competitor, is laying eggs at a world class pace, so don’t touch that dial. One of ’ems gotta crack.