If you always had a hankerin’ to see Indiana, this could be the nudge that puts an end to your procrastinations. As if you needed another reason, Indiana now boasts more potential terrorist targets than any other state. We can see the Blandorian branding effort coming…“Indiana, Right on Target!”

Says Blandor the Imponderable: “It’s paramount that Indiana carpe diem while the fish is frying and the skillet is hot. As my putative father was fond of saying, ‘Wearing a merkin on your head is better than letting your bald spot reflect unwanted glare.’”

Bought this can of smoked sausages in Penn Yan, NY. last week. Expiration date is Oct. ‘07. The interesting thing is that the first listed ingredient is “Mechanically separated chicken”. I began wondering why they would use the less than appetizing phrase “Mechanically separated” as a leadoff, since all processed meat in a can is. Then I realized that mechanized food processing was a big deal in the forties– a selling point, cutting edge, less likely to contain germs, etc. Could it be that the label and the ingredient list remain unchanged these many years? Nah, nothing so romantic going on here. From the U.S.D.A. website:

Mechanically separated poultry is a paste-like and batter-like poultry product produced by forcing bones, with attached edible tissue, through a sieve or similar device under high pressure to separate bone from the edible tissue. Mechanically separated poultry has been used in poultry products since the late 1960’s. In 1995, a final rule on mechanically separated poultry said it was safe and could be used without restrictions. However, it must be labeled as “mechanically separated chicken or turkey” in the product’s ingredients statement. The final rule became effective November 4, 1996. Hot dogs can contain any amount of mechanically separated chicken or turkey.

Due to FSIS regulations enacted in 2004 to protect consumers against Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, mechanically separated beef is considered inedible and is prohibited for use as human food. It is not permitted in hot dogs or any other processed product.

The Government website also reveals that the ingredients of hot dogs and bologna can be identical, it’s all about how you slice it.

We are unable to find the manufacturer of Prarie Belt, listed as “Praireland Foods, West Point, MS.”, ANYWHERE. However the product name, “Prairie Belt”, does get top dishonorable mention in this Vienna Sausage taste test.

If you’re plum out of ideas, you will appreciate the ’serving suggestion” depicted on the can, “dump the sausages out on a plate” (next to a child’s receding hairline, mind you). If you remain peckish, take heart (and spleen), the 5 oz. can goes for 50 cents at Dollar General stores. If you are unable to locate a can, fear not. Mechanically separated chicken can be readily had in both Slim Jims and SPAM.

[ More posts about food | More posts about food ingredients ] [ More posts about naming | More posts about ingredient branding ]

As we head out on our Independence holiday this afternoon, let’s take a moment to reflect on one sliver of what makes America uniquely American.

Here in the U.S., violence is preferred over sex when it comes to what is acceptable for our kids to see on TV. Conversely, Europeans have the screwy idea that sex is normal and it’s violence that is abhorrent. Go figure.

This idea is poignantly demonstrated via this classic Travelocity U.K. television spot.

(yes, this post is a re-run from more than three years ago, but we’re headed out the door)