We just got an interesting job that requires traveling to Wilmington a time or two over the next ten weeks. Much to our chargrin, we know very little about the place, at least about things that matter, like this:

Coffee Milk is the official State Drink. Coffee Milk is similar to chocolate milk but is made with coffee syrup. A coffee “cabinet” is coffee milk with ice cream (a coffee flavored milk shake). The main ingredient of this shake is “coffee milk,” first introduced to Rhode Islanders in the early 1920’s. Coffee milk became so popular in Rhode Island that in 1993 the Rhode Island state legislature voted coffee milk as the official state drink.

Oh wait, that’s Rhode Island. See the problem? Here’s one, did you know that in addition to a state motto, state flower, state bird, etc, Delaware is the only state with an official state macroinvertebrate? Check it out:

On May 4, 2005, the Stonefly (Order Plecoptera) was designated as Delaware’s State macroinvertebrate, because it is an indicator of the excellent water quality in the State. The designation of the stonefly was a means whereby Delaware State government could recognize the importance of excellent water quality and the vital role played by healthy aquatic ecosystems in Delaware. Designating a State macroinvertebrate is a highly appropriate means to raise public awareness of water quality issues, and complement citizen action programs like Delaware Stream Watch.

It’s insider information like this that will make or break our Delaware experience. If anybody has any tips on local slang, where to eat and lodge, or most importantly where not to buy drugs, post a comment.

And since we don’t want our own state to lag behind in its branding efforts, we hereby nominate Landor to be California’s official invertebrate. The petition will circulate shortly.

It doesn’t get much worse than this. There is a new fashion brand name on the horizon, and it is one of the best examples of clueless desperation that we have had the misfortune to fumble across. The press release spews the following:

Precious Marlowe, a successful New York-based hedge fund executive, recently launched a hot new apparel and lifestyle brand, TwattyGirl. The collection, designed for independent, sexy, bold, outspoken women from 18-45, is inspired by the main character, TwattyGirl, in Marlowe’s forthcoming novel – “Bulletproof –Things Twattygirl Told You, But You Didn’t Want to Hear.” TwattyGirl does not allow herself to be defined by society’s conventional ideas of what a woman should be and how she should act. She makes her own rules and lives by the TwattyGirl manifesto – “sexy, bold, outspoken – TwattyGirl is the essence of a woman with attitude.”

The essence of an 18-to-45 year old woman with attitude? Try 12-to-15 with a huffing habit. This name will appeal only to those same kids who wish they could find Cliffs notes for the Abercrombie catalog. Via Lucian James.

San Francisco Bay Area matchmaker “Table for Six” has an intriguing name that demonstrates a difference:

After many successful years in the singles industry we have proven that six people brought together in a comfortable environment is the perfect number for a dining experience. Hence our well recognized name Table for Six™. With six suitably matched members; conversation flows, friendship and romance blossom. Having six people can also provide a sense of security in a new environment. In a six format, the chances of meeting a new friend to go places with, or that “someone special” are increased threefold!

The fact that locals lovingly refer to the company as “Table for Sex” makes the whole thing that much more viral. (Not in that way, silly, in a good way)