We Create Breakout Brand Names
We Create Breakout Brand Names

The Igor Naming Guide

An essential framework, it gives your team a shared set of criteria and a strategy for evaluating names.

Download The Naming Guide:

Naming Agencies

We Create Breakout Brand Names

Naming Tips:

A brand name has work to do. Create a job description for it, divided into Qualifications and Responsibilities:

Qualifications:

Depending on the positioning of the product or company the name will represent, screen name candidates for specifics, such as:

Responsibilities:


Building the Perfect Beast: The Igor Naming Guide

Everything you wish you didn’t need to know about creating brand names

We wrote the Naming Guide to bring clarity & uncommon sense to the naming process.

An essential framework, it gives your team a shared set of criteria and a strategy for evaluating names.

Our guidebook provides the clear principles & actionable insights necessary for you to create the most powerful name in your space, like a brand naming expert.

Download The Naming Guide:

Naming Agencies

The Happy Idiot: an Exposé of Brand Naming Scams

Naming Agencies

It's called The Happy Idiot because a naming, branding or advertising agency deliberately delivers a name that's a liability to a smiling client who's happy with the result.

The Happy Idiot was designed to be the fastest, smoothest route to client buy-in on a name, with the least amount of effort by the agency.

It means the naming agency sees your naming project as a consensus building exercise only, and not a quest for a powerful name that consensus is then built around.

If a Happy Idiot practitioner presents a strong name candidate and there is any pushback from a client they’ll defer and smooth down the edges until there is nothing interesting or effective left in the names they are presenting.

Going forward they’ll only present names of the vanilla variety, because getting buy-in on breakout brand names require brains, time, commitment and hard work.

The first step to protecting yourself is learning to spot The Happy Idiot.

There are three variants: The Happy Idiot, The Happy Idiot with a Passport and The Happy Idiot with a Wallflower.

To illustrate each, we'll use actual names and case studies from a single agency.

 

The Happy Idiot

In this classic version the agency invents a word with no resemblance to any existing word. Because the name neither means nor implies anything, there are no objections from the client. It's been sanitized for their protection. But in order to sell the name the agency needs to convince the client that the invented word has positive, relevant meaning. The agency breaks the name down into morphemes(a morpheme is the smallest meaningful unit of a language) and assigns positive meaning to each. They have someone with a masters degree in linguistics from Berkeley or Stanford certify the meanings - in languages neither the client or their target audience speaks - to give it weight and to assure the client that this meaningless construction is not only full of meaning, it's perfect for them.

When an agency rolls out morphemic rationale, you're being played:

 

Mirvie

“Mirvie is a rich coining that draws on several Romance languages: Mira means “objective” in Italian, “purpose” or “look!” in Spanish, and the feminine form of “wonderful” in Latin. Vie is “life” in French and “means” or “paths” in Italian. Mirvie suggests the wonder of pregnancy, a means to your objective, and lifesaving, targeted insights”

 

Is it possible the naming agency believes, "Mirvie suggests the wonder of pregnancy, a means to your objective, and lifesaving, targeted insights”? Depends on what they're smoking. What matters is the client believes it. Nobody objects, a positive meaning was established by an expert no one feels qualified to argue with, job done! Client is happy.

When agencies rely heavily on this strategy, it's referred to as morpheme addiction.

Invented words have their place in naming, but their rationale cannot be morphemic pretzel logic based on multiple languages foreign to the audience. An invented name has to work on its own, without explanation, in the context of the company or product it represents: Neoverse, Ventrix. The only exceptions are names of pharmaceuticals and chemicals, where global regulations prohibit rational names.

 

The Happy Idiot with a Passport

Same basics as the original, but this variation uses real words from foreign languages that neither the client nor the client's target audience speaks. The Happy Idiot with a Passport produces names that the client can't object to because they don't mean anything to the client. Foreign language names function as invented names, but the positive meanings the agency claims the name has are based on their meaning in an obscure language.

When an agency tries to sell you on a meaning in a language unfamiliar to your customers, you’re being played:

 

Ikena

"Ikena, a Hawaiian word meaning “vista, perspective, knowledge.” The name also recalls “I ken” (an older English word for “know”) and “I can”

 

The Happy Idiot and Happy Idiot with a Passport both reveal an essential naming truth: having a meaning doesn't make a name meaningful. Ikena has a meaning but is meaningless unless you speak Hawaiian. Mirvie's morphemes may have meaning, but Mirvie is meaningless to everyone. Which is why in our opinion, both naming approaches are scams. They're nothing more than a sales pitch to a client to end a project.

Foreign language names can make reasonable brand names, but they have to work based on their look, sound and personality. Their "meaning" is irrelevant to anyone who doesn't speak the language.

 

The Happy Idiot with a Wallflower

The Wallflower version employs the one thousand most common words used by brand names, words like Acorn, Active, Arc, Atlas, Bird, Blossom, Blue, Bridge, Bright, Care, Clear, Complete, Core, Curve, Edge, Engage, Ever, Expert, Flex, Fly, Force, Front, Fusion, Future, Gain, Go, Green, Harbor, Hill, Hub, Key, Lead, Light, Line, On, Next, Now, Path, Plus, Point, Power, Pro, Pulse, River, Sense, Scape, Shift, Shine, Sky, Song, Span, Splash, Star, Stream, Sun, Up, Via, Vista, Wave, Wise and Zip.

A single word Wallflower is rarely presented. They are overwhelmingly "Compound Wallflowers", as a combination of two excruciatingly common words is much easier to trademark than one. These words are so generic, they don't draw any objection from the client and each contains a slight, one-dimensional positive attribute. And so common their effect is that of white noise on the audience. They're Wallflowers, forgotten in a heartbeat.

When an agency takes the path of least resistance by presenting pairings of white noise words, you're being sold a Wallflower:

Combining these wallflowers has gifted six different clients of this one agency with these six names:

Bridgescape

Bridgespan

Everbridge

Flybridge

Gainbridge

PSI Bridge

 

What's Lost in a Happy Idiot Process?

The names appeal only to the client and not to the client's customers. Happy Idiot names are incapable of doing anything a great brand name does. Specifically:

Define, dominate and own your category.

- Memorable, absolutely unforgettable.

- Support a unique brand positioning.

- Tells the world that you’re not a commodity.

- Go viral, propelling itself through the world on its own.

- Demonstrates that you're different.

- Create positive and lasting engagement with your audience.

- Provide a deep well of marketing and advertising images.

 

Takeaways

When an agency rolls out morphemic rationale, you’re being played.

When an agency tries to sell you on a meaning in a language unfamiliar to your customers, you’re being played.

When an agency takes the path of least resistance by presenting pairings of overused words, you’re being sold a Wallflower.

 

Preventing a H.I. Jacking

If you're looking for an advertising, branding or naming agency to create a brand name, have a quick look at their naming portfolio. Agencies who've somehow found a way to ethically rationalize The Happy Idiot don't just dabble, they're all in. The vast majority of their portfolio will be chock-full of Compound Wallflowers and mind-mangling Invented/Foreign Language names. Now that you can spot a Happy Idiot, identifying the purveyors is straightforward.


While you're window shopping, check out our competitors names:

List of Naming Agencies.

Naming agencies are in bold . The rest are branding agencies offering naming as a service.