The marketing geniuses at Neutrogena, realizing how crowded the women’s skin care product sector is, have been selling vibrators. But not just any vibrator, a vibrator that a woman can, with head held high, take through airport security, buy at the drugstore, and leave in plain sight for the kids to find. Brilliant.
“Insert the proprietary Landor Naming Process Tool into the anal canal and twist until it grabs the membrane. Continue twisting another half turn, then steadily pull the proprietary Landor Naming Process Tool out of the canal. Extract 10 inches of membrane, tie the membrane off and cut.”
Says Blandor the Imponderable: “Oh deer! Perhaps I should butt out….No! My auricular has been opened, laid bare for all to observe! This time, no amount of blandiloquence will assuage this insolent corporate sabotage! And furthermore, we use a much larger mammal in our current work”
The wait is almost over—though its questionable if anyone is actually waiting to watch the show or simply to rip it to shreds afterward.
Bravo’s reality show Start-Ups: Silicon Valley (previously titled just Silicon Valley) will finally premier November 5. The San Francisco Bay area tech community has been up in arms about the show since news got out about its existence, with the the tech world fearing the show will take the difficult and important work done in Silicon Valley and minimize it for dramatic effect.
Despite the objections, the show goes on and the six Silicon Valley entrepreneurs are preparing for their debut. They are:
Ben Way, 32, who made and lost millions by age 22 and is now trying to make it back to the top again.
Hermoine Way, 27, a trained journalist transitioning from covering tech to making it.
David Murray, 29, who was one missed mortgage payment away from losing everything, but remains set on bootstrapping the next big app.
Dwight Crow, 26, a programming savant, whose activities include partying with hacker buddies and solving complex algorithms while playing beer pong.
Kim Taylor, 30, who led a company to success, but struggles with having to trade the security and comfort she is used to with the discomfort of creating her own startup.
Sarah Austin, 30, a Silicon Valley native who live-broadcasts her entire life online.
Is the show a prime example of the negative consequences of turning entrepreneurs into celebrities, or does it show the rest of us a side of Silicon Valley that startup founders just don’t want us to know about?
This creepy PR salvo consists of turning homeless human beings into walking hotspots at SXSWi, and having them wear t-shirts identifying themselves as such. Much like hailing a cab, you flag down a homeless person and have them stand next to you while you feed your jones for sending pointless texts to you friends via human antennae – texts that probably read, “this is so cool. using homeless dude as as WiFi spot at SXSWi. not going to pay him LOL!”
Yep, they don’t necessarily get paid. There is a suggested donation of 2 dollars per 15 minutes.
Their dehumanization is complete. They are just part of the machinery now – Borgs.
Par for the course from what has become the soulless, self-indulgent juggernaut called SXSWi. This cruel novelty is brought to you by marketing firm Bartle Bogle Hegarty via BBH.