Mocha chocolata ya ya

mmixDescriptive product names are at their absolute worst when they mislead and confuse. A particularly sour example is Mocha Mix, a non-dairy creamer that is… not mocha (chocolate + coffee) flavored. Mocha Mix is plain non-dairy creamer, meant to taste like plain cream. It is a product that will dissapoint coffee lovers who thought they were buying a non-dairy mocha flavored cream substitute and will be passed over by those looking for a non-flavored non-dairy cream substitute.

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125k per word

From the Baltimore Business Journal:

Though they weren’t invited to “Get In On It” themselves, many Baltimore advertising experts are keen on the city’s new slogan to be unveiled on Wednesday at the Hippodrome.

“Get In On It” is the city’s new tagline developed by San Francisco’s Landor Associates on behalf of the Baltimore Area Convention and Visitors Association. The nine-month, $500,000 branding campaign was met with resistance from some members of the Baltimore advertising community who thought a local agency ought to have been selected to craft the campaign.

Though some advertising executives said that a hasty reading of the tagline might make it easily confused with an invitation to “Get It On,” many thought the slogan was provocative.

Yes, “Get it on” would have been provocative, but then the slogan would have cost 167k per word, which was more than Baltimore had budgeted.

BlandorSays Blandor the Imponderable: “B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!, B’more!”

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BlackBerry moves beyond Crackberry

RIM’s BlackBerry has found another perch in the vernacular:

It’s sometimes called “Blackberry thumb,” that pain in the hands and fingers caused by sending too many text messages on tiny keyboard. The source of the pain might be new, but it’s just a different version of an old ailment, repetitive stress injury.

Repetitive motion syndrome on a Treo is still referred to as “hairy Palm”.

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Guam V. GUAM

There is a large land mass called GUAM, but it shouldn’t be confused with the island of Guam. GUAM is not Guam, that little 212 square mile Unincorporated Territory of the United States parked comfortably at 13.48 degrees North, 144.45 degrees East. The other GUAM is an alliance between Georgia, Ukraine, Azerbaijan and Moldova.

GUAM is ready for a name change, but not because it is aware of the other Guam. They simply want to be able to add new nation members without continually changing their name. From Moldova.org:

As the Moldovan authorities believe, the regional alliance of Georgia, Ukraine, Azerbaijan and Moldova can be called Commonwealth for European Choice for Democracy and Economic Development. On May 22, Moldovan President Vladimir Voronin introduced to GUAM member countries’ presidents Moldova’s proposal on changing the organization’s name, a REGNUM correspondent reports.

“I am sure, the new level, which our organization gets up to, claims for a more pragmatic and responsible attitude towards its name. In accordance with the draft charter, our organization is open for new candid and interested members, which means that the GUAM abbreviation is not appropriate by now,” Vladimir Voronin stressed. He noted that preserving the old name would put limits on external potential of the new subject of the international law, and in the name proposed by Moldova, “priorities are defined clearer, its openness and continuity of the consolidated policy are demonstrated in a more vivid way.”

Except now the acronym for “Commonwealth for European Choice for Democracy and Economic Development” will be CECDRC, which everyone will shorthand as CEDRIC. It would be catchy, sure. But if relevancy is what they want, how about “Commonwealth for European Democracy and Economic Development”, or CEDED? Certainly a proponent of democracy named Vlad must have some sense of the ironic.

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